Showing posts with label Jerkholes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jerkholes. Show all posts

Sep 8, 2010

School Daze: Grade Eight

Day 312

This will probably be my last School Daze column devoting itself to a specific grade. I attended Sky View High School for grades 9-12 and I will probably blog about them in the future but I will combine them since they all seem meshed together anyway.

This was an interesting time in my life. There were some big changes happening. The biggest change being that I moved from Canada to the United States. My parents divorced and my mom and I moved down to Richmond, Utah and lived with my grandparents. I was used to a large city and now I was living in this tiny town. I had cows, real cows, as neighbors. This was something completely foreign to me.


And I had to attend a new school in less than a few weeks. I was going to attend North Cache Middle School (they call Junior High schools, Middle Schools) and I was going into the 8th grade.

I was an outcast. The predominantly Mormon community I moved into was filled with people that lived very sheltered lives. It is not to say that I was a wild child or "worldly" or anything like that but I was more experienced. I guess I was so experienced that some parents out there didn't like me hanging out with their kids since I was so "worldly". Yeah, I was a real hellion.

Since I was such an outsider I was picked on and bullied. Most of these jerkholes came from a neighboring city of Lewiston. I tried to fit in but I was the new guy. One of the lessons I learned while at my last school was to strategically get a girlfriend and get one that would place me with those "kewl" people. There was a cute girl that I liked named Liz Wheeler and I asked her to go with me. Unfortunately this backfired on me. While it did protect me from some of the bullies, it also caused the real jerkholes to double their efforts in picking on me. So I was accepted by the general student body, I was a bigger target to that select crowd of jerkholes. While I was at Killarney and going with Lori, you were supposed to hang out all the time and hold hands and stuff like that. I think that was a little much for the North Cache folk. My whirlwind romance with Liz quickly died out but at least I made some good friends.

I don't have my school pictures here so I had to snag this out of my yearbook.

I was still bullied and most of that came while in gym class. (How cliche!) I hated gym class with a passion and my gym teacher didn't help out. My teacher was named Mr. Lindley and he knew my family. He had lived in Edmonton before my parents moved up there and he knew my grandpa since my grandpa was a respected educator. My gym teacher had these fingers that were dislocated and broken from playing football but now they were hardened and unbending. He used to jab these fingers right in your chest when you did something stupid or wrong. He would line us all up to take roll and he would stop and ask each student. "Clean or dirty?" He was referring to our jock straps. You would have to pull out the strap so he could see that you were actually wearing a jock and not faking it. Only the stupid students would say "dirty". If you did he would jab those fingers right in your chest so hard it would leave a bruise. But I would rather deal with him than with my fellow students. What is really funny is that I could share some real horrific and embarrassing stories of what went on in the gym locker room. I could name names but I think I would be too embarrassed to actually say what went on in there Especially about the three jockholes who thought they were really all that.

Gym class is where I also got into the infamous Rock Fight with Mr. Forsgren.

Like I said, I made some very good friends back in the 8th grade. Most of them I am still in some sort of contact with. My first friend that I made was Casey. I would walk home with Casey (he lived on the other side of the highway in Richmond) and we became fast friends. His family was so nice to welcome me in and I spent a lot of time at his house playing around. Unfortunately he lived by some horrible neighbors that tried to bully him and of course they would bully me when I walked over to his house. The Bair brothers were the worst. They actually shot Casey's dog with a .22 and killed it. They were horrible people. I remember one night I was at Casey's with my other friend Bruce for a sleepover. We noticed that the Bair dad had left one of his beers out on the porch and we snuck over and stole it and then later poured it over the kid's jacket and bike and hid the bottle inside the pocket. Later on his dad smelled the beer on the jacket and really let them have it. We could hear the dad just cussing and beating those boys.  You know, it is not as funny now as it was then.

I also had some great teachers that I felt actually cared for me. A few of them made me who I am today. I also had teachers that had taught my Uncle Kurt when he attended North Cache. I'll let you decide if that is a good thing or not.

By the end of the school year I was feeling better. This year was hard but not as horrible as my last year in the 7th grade was. I got another girlfriend named Rochelle but we were really just friends towards the end. At the end of the year we got our yearbooks and we got to spend the day autographing and writing messages in them. That was a new experience for me too. Looking back, I would love to see what I wrote other people in their yearbooks. Hmmmm... I don't know if I would really want too, I bet I wrote some embarrassing things. I made sure that my yearbook was passed to all the cute and popular girls and there was one signature that made my day. And it really irked Bruce since he had a major crush on this girl.
I blocked out the phone number and the poor girl's name. If you think you have figured it out, please do not post it. I want to avoid further embarrassment!

She was one of the most popular girl's in school! And she thought I was sexy! (Like I really knew what that meant) She made such an impression that my friend and I walked all the way to Smithfield one hot summer day to visit her. I didn't walk 500 miles to be with this girl but I did walk six miles! Sadly she was not home but her cool mother gave us a ride home after giving us something to drink. She was impressed that I walked that far to see her daughter.

My 8th grade year was not as bad as I thought it was. It was still difficult but I think I was being a tad too harsh in my former columns.

Jun 30, 2010

School Daze: The Bully

Day 242

I was bullied in school quite a bit, especially grades 7-9. Those grades were absolutely hell for me and part of me doesn't even want to cover those years in this blog. When grade 10 rolled around I was surrounded by good friends and most of those bullies that bullied me had either matured a bit or moved on to other things.

Remember what happened to this bully?

In the 11th grade I managed to fight off my last bully for good. For some unknown reason this stupid kid with his stupid permed hair started to pick on me. I did my best to ignore him but he just kept on going. I remember during the winter he would always tackle me and throw me in the snow. This constantly went on and I just learned to deal with it. It was humiliating that I was in the 11th grade and I was being bullied by this preppy sophomore. So I decided to fight back.

This unfortunately worked both ways. He liked that I would fight back, it made him more sneaky in catching me off guard. But when I got the better of him all it did was make him mad and the incidents felt like they doubled.

So I took the initiative. I was walking through the Student Center and I spotted him walking towards the steel doors to get inside. I knew that if he saw me I would get harassed so I decided to get him before he got me. I ran to the steel doors and timed opening them perfectly. He was about to grab the handles and open the door when I tossed the door open hard.

I hit him square in the face with the door. The force knocked him to the floor and he immediately grasped his nose which was spitting out gobs of blood. He got up angrily and looked like he was going to tackle me when my friend came from behind me laughing and said "You want Matt to give you more than that?" I stood my ground and stared him down silently. He backed off and went to the bathroom.

I have to admit that I feared for my life for the rest of the day but I never saw or heard him. And I never had to deal with him again. I had a couple of classes with him and he was still a bit of a jerkhole but he never touched me again.

Sometimes you just have to take a stand. Like Marty's dad did to Biff in Back to the Future.

Jun 19, 2010

List-Mania: Facebook Follies

Day 231

A little more than a year ago my sister told me that she joined Facebook and recommended that I join as well. She had found a bunch of friends from Canada and said she had a lot of fun reconnecting.


I am a sucker for nostalgia so I hopped aboard the Facebook train and honestly I have not regretted it. It is fun to hear from people from my past and see what they are doing now. I know some people have huge problems on Facebook with a lot of bickering going down. I know people who have suddenly deleted their account because of something that happened on Facebook.

I laugh at those people because it is their own fault.

I love Facebook and I am usually on at least once a day. But I like it because I am interested in reconnecting with friends that I had before. And that leads right into my List-Mania: Facebook Follies. Things that I personally find funny or wrong about Facebook.

FACEBOOK FOLLY #1
"If I was your friend before Facebook I'll be your friend on Facebook"

This is what I enjoy the most about Facebook. I like to reconnect with those friends that I have lost contact for some reason or another. But I will not let everyone in the door. If I was a friend of yours before Facebook existed, chances are I will be your friend on Facebook. But this is not a popularity contest, just because I knew you in high school doesn't mean we were friends. If I thought you were a kind of jerkhole in high school chances are I will just laugh at your friend request and hit Ignore.


FACEBOOK FOLLY #2
"Facebook is NOT a way to say all is forgiven"

This is to the guy that back stabbed my friends and I but then wants to be Facebook friends. Get a life jerkhole! If I was your real friend you would have never stabbed in the back in the first place. Facebook is not a way to casually apologize for all the stupid and harmful things you have done. Now don't get me wrong here. I am friends on Facebook with former bosses and girls I had dated but I am NOT friends with those relationships that ended horribly. Having a former girlfriend 'friend request' me that ended the relationship horribly is like her sending me a wedding invitation to her new hubby. Not going to fall for it. If you really want to be my friend you better send me more than a simple 'friend request'.

FACEBOOK FOLLY #3
"Just because I am friends with you doesn't mean I want to play with you"

Please don't take offense at this but I am not one that plays all those Facebook games like Mafia or Farmville. I just am not that type of guy and honestly I don't want to get hooked. So please forgive me but for every new game I am invited to I just end up blocking the wall post. I want to hear how are doing and not what you are killing or hunting or farming etc. Go ahead and still send invites if you want just don't be offended when they are ignored.


FACEBOOK FOLLY #4
"Updating your status gets old when all you do is complain"

Sometimes you need to vent and Facebook is a great place to let loose. But only in moderation. I complained about my allergies the other day but that was it. Wouldn't it bug you (if you were a friend of mine) if I said that every day? It would get on your nerves. So quit being such a Negative Nelly, your life must not be that bad if you can log into Facebook everyday to air your grievances. Change it up a bit, don't be such a downer!

FACEBOOK FOLLY #5
"Silent De-Friending"

I really think Facebook should change this. If you are going to defriend me, I would like to know why. I am not a fan of being defriended ninja-like. Am I being a jerkhole without knowing it? Did I "like" something I shouldn't and you quit Facebook? Even if I got a message saying so-and-so deleted their account that would make me feel a bit better. I don't want to be the cause of you quitting Facebook. This should be a place where you can have fun reconnecting and the joys of remembering the past. If you have defriended me because I said something let me know. I would do the same for you.

FACEBOOK FOLLY #6
"Just because they are family doesn't mean they are friends"

This is a warning to all new Facebook users. If you have problems with your family it may not be a good idea to have them as friends. Luckily for me, I don't have this problem at all. I am glad that I have family on Facebook. I have family all over the US that I am friends with and it is fun to get to know them better because of Facebook. But I have witnessed family breakdowns all because of Facebook. So be careful when being friends with family. You get what you asked for! It can go both ways.

I love Facebook and I am happy that I have reconnected with those that I have. It is a great place to see what old friends are up to. I highly recommend joining if you already haven't. It is time to get on the bandwagon.