My First Date

Day 324

It seems like forever ago.

FOR-EVER! FOR-EVER! FOR-EVER!

Okay, it is not that long ago. It was around this time 20 YEARS AGO! It has been so long ago that I just might not really remember it. It was Sky View's Homecoming Dance and my friends and I decided to get dates and go to the dance. I didn't think that I was going to go but at the last moment I decided to find a date.

There was this senior girl that I had seminary class (I was only a junior) with that I thought was a lot of fun. I knew she had a boyfriend from Logan High but I decided to ask her out anyway. Apparently this was just the start of a trend. I was always interested in older ladies that had boyfriends. I remember that I skipped my last period in school to whip up a fancy way of asking her to the dance. I don't remember what I did but I did include a picture of me when I was young in my fancy 70's style dancing suit and invited her to dance with a real star. Now that I think about it, I think I was striking a John Travolta-like pose in the picture.

Shannon answered me by filling up this insane huge bottle of M&M's and by making me count out all the colors and doing all this math. While I hated math, I did like eating chocolate.

But she did say yes and I had my first date!

I was a little nervous. I remember that I showered very early and got ready long before I was to pick her up. My friend Damond picked me up in his mini-van and we took off to corral the rest of the group. Damond's date was named Valerie and she was brand new girl that had just moved in. His cousin Kris came with us and his date was named Kara (I think, and I am too lazy to check) and Jester's date was Mykin. We went to pick up my date first and we got lost trying to find her house. Damond was so frustrated since we were so late. In fact we were about an hour late picking her up. We had to stop and ask someone and they pointed us to her house. Funny thing is that Damond got so mad at me for not knowing where she lived and I told him to calm down and he suddenly backed the van into this telephone pole. I felt bad until Jester laughed and laughed.

(Top Row) Me, Shannon, Damond, Jester, Kara

Valerie, Mykin, Kris

We finally got everyone and we went and ate at this place called "The Cottage" and then we headed to the dance. The dance was nice, I am glad that my first date was with someone that was my friend. I remember while dancing we would comment on everyone else and essentially "people-watch" the whole time. It was a nice and relaxing evening. I am not sure what we did after the dance, I think we headed back to Damond's house to play some games before we took the girls home.

Look how young I am...

Shannon was a neat girl that I still run into every once in awhile.

The Video Date

Day 254

I had a lot of fun dating in high school. I rarely dated the same person and my friend Damond and I would always try to plan creative dates.

For this date I was super excited. Damond was dating a fun girl named Brenea and I was going on my first date with this cute blond named Valerie. Interesting side note, both Damond and I were dating older women. Well, they were only a year older than us but we thought we were living dangerously.

We didn't have much planned for this evening. We were planning on making some treats and then playing DumbDamondGames(tm). For those that don't know, DDG was just a series of silly nonsense games. Usually these games would somehow get us closer to our dates physically. It was all part of the master plan!

Instead Damond and I had a flash of brilliance. Let's make a music video! We dug out an old video camera and we found an even older tape player. This tape player had reels it was so old.

And we found the perfect song to do. "One Bad Apple" by the Osmond Brothers. We also found some old clothes to dress up in and we found what we wanted to use as musical instruments. I guess I should have noticed it then but I dressed up to be a bass player. I used a yard stick and wore a baseball hat with a scarf tucked in so it looked like I had long hair. I don't remember what the girls wore but I do remember that Damond had a helmet on and used a wood gold club. He would sing the lead and the rest of us would sing backup. We only mouthed the words of course. Damond one time swung his "mike stand" (golf club) and about smacked me in the groin. We would do the whole song and then we would watch them after and make plans for new videos. We laughed and laughed when we saw that Damond almost permanently neutered me but what really made us laugh was you could audibly hear me go "Whoa". We made three different videos and had a real hoot doing them.

After the date was over and we took the girls home Damond and I would stay up into the wee hours of the morning watching our videos and we would talk about what we thought of our dates. We had so much fun on this date that after our LDS Missions we did it again with a different set of girls. I even reprised my role as the long-haired bass player. It was still a lot of fun to do but unfortunately it just wasn't as magical as it was that first time.

I wish I had a copy of that tape. Sadly, Damond's dad taped over it all. If I would have known he was going to do that, I would have bought him some new tapes!

Pic of the Week: The Good Ol' Days

Day 167

I kinda feel bad for kids growing up these days.

While kids today have stuff that I never thought or dreamed of having I do think that I had it better.

Back in the good ol' days it was easier to get away with stuff. Much easier. There was no internet so my parents couldn't log on and check my grades. It was far easier to catch Deficiency Notices in the mail since e-mail was not invented yet. And there were no cell phones so if I skipped school, the school would have to call home. And luckily for me, my mom was at work and not at home. And even when the answering machine came along it was way easy to just delete the message.

Which brings me to this picture:

What does this have to do with getting away with stuff? My dad used to like to take pictures of us and I was not in the mood to smile. So Jennifer whispered something to me to make me laugh. And do you know what she said?

Remember when we farted on the phone?
When Jennifer would babysit me we would have loads of fun. We would watch TV and play games and play the record player full blast and pretend that we were rock stars. Sometimes we would dress up and play, sometimes we would play outside, sometimes we would try to freak out our neighbor's daughter and sometimes we would fart on the phone.

While I think Caller ID is one of the greatest things invented I do miss those days when you could crank call people and get away with it. Nowadays you can't do this without being caught and then probably sued. We didn't do this all the time, in fact I can only remember doing it twice. One time by ourselves and one time with Jennifer's friend Mindy. We would call up a random person or someone we didn't like and then attempt to fart on the phone. But we would end up laughing so hard that we could only (and barely) make farty or burp noises on the phone. And we never got caught.

Until one time we called a restaurant called "Chicken on the Way" and we cranked them a few times since they would always answer the phone. And then they called us back and they scared us straight. But my cranking days didn't end there.

One of my favorite ways to ask a girl to one of the high school dances (you had to ask creatively) was to ask them to take a survey from Utah State University. I would ask these stupid questions and then eventually I would ask some personal questions (like if they ever used deodorant on their feet) and then finally I would say:

"It looks like you pass with flying colors. Now I have one more important question to ask you. Would you like to attend the Christmas Dance with Matt Platis? Please answer him in your own way and I will make sure he has a copy of all your answers."

And then I would hang up the phone. These days I wouldn't be able to get away with that.

My friend Damond LOVED to play pranks on people through the phone. I would come over and would call some buddies or when he was cheerleader, the other girl cheerleaders and then give them a hard time on the phone. I would pretend I was some cousin of one of the cheerleaders (obviously not the one I was calling) and then try to ask them out on a date. But I would either act completely stupid or completely cocky. We would laugh and laugh and Damond would tell me how they reacted the next day during cheerleading practice. Damond was the perfect guy to do this with since he knew those girls so way and there was NO WAY they would think it was him.

I would now like to formally apologize to those cheerleaders. Damond put me up to it!

Like I said, there is no way we could do that today.

Damond and the BB Gun

Day 163

I am very thankful that I had such a good friend when I moved to the United States. Moving was not an easy thing for me, I was in a strange country and I had cows as neighbors. Actual cows! This was something that a city boy like me had to get used to.

I was picked on quite a bit in the 8th grade which made that grade absolutely hell but I did have some very good friends that helped me through it.

One of those friends was my neighbor Damond. We hung out through all of high school and he was partly responsible for making me who I am today. He and his family were a good influence on me. But that is not to say that we didn't get into mischief because that would be a bold-faced lie. And it is not like we really got into a lot of trouble because for the most part we were good.

I remember one time we were out in the Honda trails (these bike trails up above our houses in the mountains) shooting our BB guns and we got bored and came home. As we were biking home we noticed these pigeons in the middle of the road in front of Damond's house. We got off our bikes and we pumped up our BB guns to shoot the birds. We shot and missed and the birds flew away and our neighbor from across the street came out livid.

"Those better not be BB guns!" She screamed at us. Apparently these were pet birds that were being raised by these neighbors. Who the heck raises pigeons? When I heard her yell that out I thought she said "Those better be BB guns!" Why? I assumed it was because if they were real guns we would have killed those dumb birds.

So I yelled back to her "Don't worry! They ARE BB guns!"

Damond turned and looked at me like I was the biggest moron on the planet. She started to yell at us even more so we took off back up towards my house. Surprisingly she didn't know it was us so we lucked out. Maybe she thought we were too good of boys to do such a horrible thing. The joke is on her! Hey, I was only telling her the truth!

I mean really, pigeons? Rats with wings? Look how mean they are!

The Potato Sack Lady

Day 81

Thinking about my boxing experience yesterday certainly brought up a ton of memories. Like I said before, I had great friends in high school that liked to have a great time together. My friends and I always double-dated, in that way if our date was not so great we could at least hang out as buddies. I never thought that would save me before but one fateful day it did.

I didn't have the greatest self-esteem back during my high school days but I was not afraid to ask a girl out. It could be any girl whether she was older, whether she had a boyfriend, it didn't matter to me. When I found a girl I wanted to date, I would date her. It was just that simple.

There was this girl a year younger than me that I had my eye on. I won't reveal her identity but if you really want to know just ask. She was a real cute girl and seemed pretty popular (she was a cheerleader). But that didn't scare me at all, I knew I would have a good time with her since my friends and I planned the coolest dates. So I called her and it seemed that I could never get a chance to take her out. Finally she relented and we planned a date for that next Saturday.

Damond and I (and his cousin) decided we would take the girls to 1st dam and teach them how to fish and play on the small beach there. Then we would have a picnic and then play some games after and perhaps get some ice cream.

I remember the beginning and ending of this date like it was yesterday. I went and picked her up and her mom was in the front doing some yard work. We took off and did some fishing. All of the other girls were having a good time, at least we thought they were. At least if they weren't, they were fantastic fakers.

Except for my date. She just sat there. She barely said a word and would barely talk to any of us. She was not nice either, she would say things that would make all of us shake our heads. She was as lifeless and sat there like a SACK OF POTATOES! There is just no other way to describe it. In fact, potato sacks are a lot more fun!


I was tired of her so I told Damond to take us home. We got to her house and her mother was still doing yard work, she was mowing the lawn! I barely walked her to the door I was so ticked off at her. Then she had the nerve to tell me that we should get together some other time. You blew it honey! You had your chance.

She forever will be remembered as the POTATO SACK LADY to my friends. After I dropped her off I went back and hung out with everyone else. Even Mrs. PotatoHead would have been a funner and better date!


Funny thing is that many years later, my then future wife met her in one of her classes. Kristy told them that she just was engaged and one of the girls asked who she was engaged to. Kristy told her and she said that she once dated me. That was like five years after! Kristy told me and I told her that she had the pleasure meeting the Potato Sack Lady.

The Boxing Match

Day 80

I had some real good friends in high school and one of my best friends was my neighbor Damond. We would do almost everything together and one of the things we used to do was double date. Our dating planning sessions were almost as fun as the date themselves. One night we were planning our date and we had all of the guys over to help, if I recall it was for Junior Prom. It was me, Damond, Darby, Kelley and Jester. I must have been in a crabby mood (which I was) and Damond got tired of it. I was slamming everyone and being a complete jerk and Damond was tired of it. He suddenly piped in "Who wants to box?" in the middle of our planning session. He thought that would shut me up considering Damond was quite muscular and I was this skinny kid. But it didn't shut me up, I quickly took him up on his offer. So he went off to grab his brother's boxing gloves.


I admit it, I was in the mood to fight. He could only find three boxing gloves but that didn't stop me from wanting to box. I took a pair and we wrapped a towel around his other hand. We pushed and shoved a bit in the small room by the kitchen but it wasn't doing anything. So Kelley suggested we take it outside and so we did. We went outside into his backyard to start the fight. And that is where the fun began.

It was a pretty silly fight, in the beginning that is. Damond would run towards me throwing all these haymakers and barely hitting me. Then he would run away and then I would do the same. Although we did connect on our punches, they didn't hurt or make any sort of impact. That is because we were swinging so wildly and we both had adrenaline pumping in our veins. All these tiny punches did was infuriate each other. The more he hit me, the more bloodthirsty I became, even though these punches that were thrown did not hurt. It was the same for Damond, the more I hit him the more mad he got too.

This lasted for about ten minutes when finally a punch was thrown. For some unknown reason, Damond dropped his guard. So I hit him square in the mouth with a solid right. It jerked his head back violently and when his head came back down he was looking at right in the eyes! I hit him pretty hard and it didn't do anything, oh great, I ticked him right off! And now he was going to kill me. All of my friends that were watching yelled out. They couldn't believe I connected and that Damond was unfazed. So what did I do? I did what any other sane man would do in the face of annhilation! I ran away.

What I didn't see with my back turned (as I was running) was that I did hurt him. His head dropped a bit and he lost his balance. I could have finished it then but I wasn't paying attention. I was only thinking of preserving my life! When he finally came to his senses he took off after me with an insane look in his eye. He started wailing on me (again with haymakers) and I just ducked for cover. I tried to get out and push him away but he backhanded me with his toweled hand. He hit me behind my ear and ripped the skin behind it and I could feel the blood trickle down, it immediately started to bleed. If he would have hit me any harder, he could have tore off my ear. It also knocked out my hearing too.

I jumped back away from Damond and I looked up at him. His guard was up and he was yelling at me but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I read his lips though and they were telling me "C'mon! You started it! So let's finish it!" That was what I thought he was saying. What he really was saying was "Matt? Are you hurt? Are you okay?" The look on his face to me was not concern but anger. But it really was concern. The reason he kept his guard up was in case I would sucker punch him which I admit did cross my mind. But he was bleeding and I was bleeding so we called it off.


The funny thing is that we became better friends because of it and it did lighten my mood. We definitely had something we could talk (and laugh) about in the future. That is probably one of my favorite memories of my friend Damond. He was such a great friend, one that I needed at the time and I am thankful that I am still friends with him. Even though we don't communicate as much as we used to, I can still call him my friend.

Damond's Dog

Day 17

I am not a dog person. I can count the amount of dogs I like on one hand. I have even passed that trait down to my son. He doesn't like dogs either and that matter was made worse when he was bit by a dog a few weeks ago.

But there was a dog that I did like. My friend and neighbor Damond had a full-bred Cocker Spaniel named Princeton. Everyone called him Prince and he was one of the good dogs. Like I said before, I am not a huge fan of dogs. In fact I remember being stranded on their trampoline with his sister Denise while this large black dog was wandering around. That black dog looked totally scary!



But anyway, I liked Prince. He was a pretty dog and I would often walk the dog with Damond. One night Damond, Denise and I walked over to visit our friends (the Yates family) and we spent the remainder of the evening with them. They were such a fun family, we danced and laughed and sang "Lean On Me" to the top of our lungs. We had tied Prince to the tree in their yard and played inside. It was getting pretty late (around eleven or midnight) so we decided to come home. Well, that Prince dog was pretty smart. I went to untie him from the tree and he snipped at my hand when I tried to get his leash on him. Since I am a chicken when it comes to dogs, I instinctively pulled my hand back. And off Prince went!

I quickly told Damond I was sorry. Prince was a dog that liked his freedom and would not come back when you called. In fact, he was already gone out of sight. I felt guilty and Damond was no help. He kept saying things like "I hope Prince doesn't get run over" and stuff like that. I am sure Damond meant no harm with those comments but they made me feel even worse. I walked them home and said good night and walked back to my house feeling absolutely horrible. So I thought to myself that I need to go get Prince myself!

I walked back to the Yates house and sat on their porch hoping to catch a glimpse of Prince. Prince was still hanging around but would not come when I called him. Finally after an hour he finally came over and let me pet him. It was then that I discovered that I have no way of getting him back. The leash was back at Damond's house. I thought about putting my hand under his collar but Prince sensed it and took off before I had a chance. I looked around the yard and found some rope. I thought if I could get Prince to come over again, I might be able to slip this rope under his collar. After another thirty minutes or so, Prince finally came back. He would not let me near his collar so I had to hug him and let him lick my face. Ugh. While he was doing this I managed to get the rope under his leash and I caught him!

I walked Prince home and knocked quietly on Damond's door. But it was very late and I am sure he was dead asleep. I didn't want to wake up his dad either. I went to their backyard and barked like a dog, hoping Damond would wake up and see Prince. But nothing. Another twenty minutes went by and I got the idea of throwing dog food at his second story window. Finally Damond came downstairs and looked out the window. Damond was relived that I was not some guy wanting to kill him and we laughed about me hunting down Prince. Damond was extremely thankful that I spent so much time hunting his dog down.

Sadly, I learned after I returned home from my LDS mission from New York, Prince had been put to sleep. I heard it was because no one was around to take care of him. That really bugged me. Prince was one of the good dogs and now he was gone. Still bugs me to this day.