Sports, Sports and more Sports

I like sports. I especially like football and I am a huge fan of the NFL. Even though my team choked the last three games and will miss the playoffs, I can still enjoy watching other teams compete. I am already looking forward to this coming weekends slate of games. 

I respect all teams even though there are a few teams that I despise. As a Jets fan, I have to hate on the Dolphins and Patriots. As a Jazz fan I have to hate on divisional rivals. That is just part of sports. But I do respect all those organizations. 

Now when it comes to players, it gets a bit tricky. There are some players that I dislike that I still respect. Patriot QB Tom Brady is the best example. But then there are players that I just don't like and usually it is because of how they act beyond the sport. I don't think I could ever like Steelers QB Big Ben because of his actions off the field. And some players I don't like because of their attitude. One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing players that have all the talent in the world act like an idiot and the lose all that they had. That just drives me nuts.

But then there are some players that I just don't like and it has nothing to do with them.  I am talking about BYU's Jimmer and the Bronco's Tebow. It has nothing to do with their abilities, it has nothing to do with their actions off the field. In fact, these players are very classy and actually make their sport better. But for some reason I just can't get behind them.  And I know exactly who to blame. 

Rick Aaron. President of the Jimmer Fanclub. 

I don't blame Rick entirely. I blame all those local media sportscasters that are in love with Jimmer and Tebow. Seriously, there are times that if Jimmer were in the same room as Rick, Rick would end up kissing Jimmer on the mouth. It never ends and it never fails, even though Jimmer is beyond BYU, Rick keeps bringing him back to the sportscast. Even when he is doing basketball highlights that are not BYU/NBA -related he will still sneak in a Jimmer reference. "He took that shot from Jimmer range!"  That sort of comment makes me want to puke. 

The biggest reason I am not a fan of Jimmer and Tebow is because they are constantly being shoved down my throat. Don't get me wrong, I respect each athlete. I am just sick and tired of sportscasters (Rick Aaron is the worst of them) treating them like it is the Second Coming and then preaching (kissing butt) to all of us to worship at the feet of these athletes. When Jimmer and Tebow play in the Super Bowl or NBA Championship game than I think all this fuss would be warranted. Tone down your man-love!

From the Soapbox: Apples to Limes

Day 256

I don't care for apples. I hate apple juice, I don't like apple sauce. I don't eat raw apples very often either. And I don't care for apple flavored candy at all. In fact I despise apple candy.

So I just avoid apples, it is as simple as that. But what really drives me insane is that slowly apples are replacing other candy fruit flavors, in particular lime flavored candies. And the list just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

• One of my favorite candies are SweetTarts. In 2001, Nestlé replaced the original lime with green apple.
• The original lineup of Runts included banana, orange, cherry, strawberry, and lime. In the late nineties, the lime was removed and replaced by apple.
• Bottlecaps used to have a lemon-lime flavor that was more lime than lemon. But it was phased out as well. Thank goodness it was replaced by cherry. But the lime-hate continues!
• Starbursts used to have a lime candy and then was combined with lemon to make lemon-lime. I cannot prove that those were replaced by apple like the other two but let the record show that apple-flavored Starbursts are available and lime ones are not.
• Skittles still have a lime flavored candy but I don't know how long that will last. Green apple replaced lime in the United States for a brief time in 2001, as part of a promotion. In some other varieties of Skittles, apple is found to be plentiful but lime gets the shaft.
• Lifesavors had a fantastic green lime flavor that was discontinued in 2003. Lemon, orange and lime lifesavors were replaced in the United States by raspberry, watermelon, and blackberry. At least lime was not replaced by apples but still. Eventually orange made a comeback but where is the lime?
• TicTac's have a nice lime flavor mixed with orange TicTac's. I just visited their website looking for more information about them and was going to pimp them out as one of my favorite lime candies and guess what? Lime is no longer listed as a flavor. But take a wild guess at what new flavor has been announced. APPLE TICTAC'S!

Lime is an outsider. No one wants it.

So what is wrong with lime?  Why does the candy world in particular hate lime?

Lime or Apple Candy?

So I will let my audience decide. Do you like Lime or Apple candy?

There is still one candy that has not changed yet. Mike and Ike's still have lime included in their candy. They also have a variety that includes green apple.

So this candy has learned to co-exist with each other. Why can't all candy learn to do that? Isn't there room for both apples and limes?

From the Soap Box: Jerks who Tailgate

Day 202

Last night I was driving over to my dad's to work and it was around 11:00 at night. For the last 3 miles I was tailed by some inconsiderate jerk who tailgated me right to my dad's house.

I already knew who it was since I have been tailgated a few times heading to my dad's. And sure enough it was this lousy neighbor that was tailing me once again.

Every time I got to a stop sign he would at first keep his distance when he had to stop but then he had to catch up and ride my butt the rest of the time. It was not like I was driving my car like an old lady. I was going just above the speed limit but that was not good enough for this dork. He could have passed me easily, there is a long stretch of road that he could have but he decided it would be best to make sure that he could see my bumper. I don't care if there isn't any other cars on the road or that it was 11:00 at night. I will obey the law and get to my destination safely. If you want to speed, be my guest, you can go ahead and pass me.

As I turned into my dad's street I rolled my eyes because I knew it was that stupid neighbor up the street and I knew he would be RIGHT behind me as I pulled over. I quickly veered out of the way and as he passed by I showed him a sign of displeasure. I know, I know, very mature right? But that is my cross to bear. As he passed by he gunned his car and drove to the house on the corner about half a block up. He screeched into his driveway as I got out of my car.

As I was walking up the walk to my dad's house I noticed that he was walking toward me. He must have seen me "wave" as he passed by. I opened the screen door and looked over and he was definitely heading over. I was about to knock on the door but instead I turned to the guy and waited for the guy to get closer. He saw that I was just waiting for him and he stopped and walked back to his car. I stayed and watched him go into his house before I went inside.

Maybe I just don't understand the mentality of those that like to tailgate others. Are they just trying to keep me safe by driving real close to make sure I am paying attention. Do they get a thrill in doing it? Do they really think that shredding 13 seconds off of their commute will really impact their life? I mean that is an extra 6 and a half minutes saved a month!

I cannot stand tailgaters. I am positive that these are the same people that beat their pets and talk during movies. The same people that drive like they own the road, the same people that don't pick up their dog crap and just leave it on your lawn. The same inconsiderate and uninformed people that bandwagon sports team and political stances. The same people that throw their cigarette butts out their car window and the same people that call Family Guy the funniest show on TV  (OK, now I am just being cruel here). They are the same people that think their farts don't stink.

Well, guess what? Your farts DO stink.

And just for your information. I have insurance and a crappy car. So if you want to hit me from behind when I slam on my brakes because you are tailgating, go for it!

From the Soap Box: Throwing Rocks

Day 155

I had a great Easter. It was a nice Sunday spending it playing games, eating way too much candy, visiting with family and watching General Conference.

Today I am heading over to my dad's for Greek Easter and I am looking forward to that. I will blog about it tomorrow.

My tongue is so raw from eating almost a whole bag of Sweet Tarts (one of my favorite candies) and from eating these new Cheeseburger Doritos. Yes, you read that right. Cheeseburger Doritos.

And they do taste just like a Burger King Whopper. I must have ate more than 2/3 of those chips in just two days. They really aren't that bad.

Aside from having a raw tongue I also was reminded of a HUGE pet peeve. Now I am not perfect and I will be first to admit that. I have my own set of problems and things I have to deal with. But everybody is in the same boat as I am. Everyone has their own issues.

I cannot find the clip to a favorite Simpson's moment but I did find the script. It is found on the episode Lisa's Sax.

Ned: Uh, Homer?
Homer: What, Flanders?
Ned: [politely] Well sir, I hate to be suspicious-allouicious on you,
[angrily] but did you steal my air conditioner?!
[We take a look out the window, and see an obvious path leading from
a hole torn out of the side of Ned's house in the window where his air conditioner used to be, leading to a knocked over fence accompanied by footprints in the soil, and a newly installed unit sticking out of Homer's window.]
Homer: Well, I admit it looks bad, Flanders, but haven't you heard of "let
he who is without sin cast the first stone"?
[Homer gets hit in the head with a rock.]
Todd: Got him, dad!

And that sums up this pet peeve. Let he that is without sin among you, let him first cast the first stone. Unfortunately I am seeing this happen all the time and it needs to stop. One of my friends (who is not perfect) is being throttled; stone after cruel stone. And it pains me to watch this happening. He knows he is not perfect but he is trying but that doesn't matter. The stones just keep coming. And what drives me insane is that the person throwing the stones is no Todd Flanders. This person is not perfect either and it would be easy to throw stones back. And I have been sorely tempted to hurl some back. It is a terrible situation and I feel horrible witnessing it. I love these people but I cannot stand people that are selfish. And let's face it, this person is acting selfish.

I am glad that I had parents that taught me tolerance and not to throw rocks on these people but to love and appreciate them for who they are.

From the Soap Box: Schmidtheads

Day 143

I am happy to say that I do not have many enemies. Or at least I don't know of many enemies. Perhaps I do have some that I just don't know about.

Have you ever met a person that you have totally disliked the moment you met them? Or the moment you heard their voice? That person is your arch-nemesis and I discovered mine a few years ago

I won't tell you his full name since he does have an online presence and I am sure he is one of those guys that googles himself to see if anyone is talking about him. It only took one phone call from this guy for me to affectionately call him "Schmidthead".

He is one of those people that feel that he is entitled to everything. Every time we came out with a special he would call in and berate us and then want something in return. And he wouldn't even ask us nicely either. He would just come right out and demand stuff. Most of the times he would even have the nerve to say You owe me this. I don't even use everything you give me but I deserve what new people are getting. Which was not entirely true either. I would calmly explain that his account had certain features that the new accounts do not have. And then he would then have the nerve to say I don't use them so I don't need them. I want the new one!

He was my most aggravating client. I had his phone number memorized and would curse when his number came up on caller ID. He would also send numerous e-mails in an attempt to bypass me.

One time I told him that if he wants the new account he can cancel his old one and move his stuff and then get a new one. He obviously didn't like my offer and wanted to speak to my boss. My boss told him the same thing and then Schmidthead called me back and demanded an apology from me. He wanted me to apologize because I was treating him horribly. I gave him the most fake and sarcastic apology ever just to get him off the phone. And then he went on and on about how I should do my job.

Now to put this in perspective, he was only angling to save 3 dollars a month. 3 WHOLE DOLLARS A MONTH!

The guy was a complete imbecile. Unfortunately he would call in every month looking for the next deal. You know if he was just nice to begin with, I would have made him happy. But condescending is not going to get you much from me. If you show me respect, I will return it. If you show me disrespect, the Karma Police will get you.

And it did. He tried to get a dedicated server for his pathetic website and pathetic uploading software (which he tried to sell to us) and we gave him an excellent price. More than what I would offer him. He rebuffed it and told us that this offer was insufficient. So I had the pleasure of calling him back and telling him that the price we gave him was off the table. He was furious. It was awesome. Thanks to the Karma Police, I had the last laugh. He finally relented and still got a deal but it was nowhere near as nice as the first one.

Every time I run into someone that behaves like this and has this egotistical entitlement attitude, I call them Schmidtheads.



I am so glad that I don't have to deal with the actual Schmidthead anymore. Unfortunately there are more people like him that are killing society.

From the Soap Box: Vacuuming

Day 140

I just got back from the church and my hands are sore. Every so often members of the church are called on to assist in cleaning it up. It was my turn this week and we woke up early this morning. I don't mind cleaning but I hate doing the bathrooms and I absolutely hate vacuuming. But it was the only chore at the church that isn't so bad. All you have to do is push this machine around. So I grabbed Logan and we each got a vacuum and we went around the rooms and vacuumed.

It sucked.

The palms of my hands are sore and my back is killing me. I know, I know, I brought this on myself and I shouldn't complain. I hate fighting that stupid cord. It is always in my way and it always gets tangled up. I have to lift that stupid 8-ton vacuum over that stupid cord that never stays where it is supposed to be. Vacuuming isn't that bad right?

Yes. I absolutely HATE that cord.

And it gets only worse when you are finished. Now you have to unplug it and round up that cord and wrap it around those useless pegs which are not big enough to wrap the whole thing. So the last few laps ALWAYS fall off and then you have to start again.

Can you tell that I hate vacuums and vacuuming?

From the Soap Box: Smacking Lips

Day 114

I am not feeling so hot today. I began to feel a bit ill Saturday night and yesterday I was feeling pretty horrible. I am much better today but I am a little cranky and weak.

So this would be a perfect time to do another column of my pet peeves.

For some reason this one really can set me off. Especially when I am in an already cranky mood. It may seem silly but it drives me nuts.


I absolutely hate it when people smack their lips and chew with their mouth open! Seriously people! I don't want to hear you eat and I certainly do not want to see what you are eating!

Now don't get me wrong. I love food and I love to eat. In fact I took one of those stupid Facebook tests and found out that my worst sin is Gluttony. So I love to eat. But at least while I am pigging out that I have some sort of respect. I don't smack my lips like a cow, I don't salivate like a dog for a bone. And I don't eat like a dog either. Every time I hear your lips smack together makes me want to smack you. Have some self respect and eat politely, like Spaghetti Cat.


I love to eat out with people. There is nothing like a great meal to bring people together and have a good time. But acting like a pig while eating zaps all the fun out of it. And it can do more damage than you think. I used to know a girl named Mabel and she would eat with her mouth open. It was like watching a cement truck or washing machine, she would swirl the food in her mouth before she would swallow it. I only saw her eating ONCE but that was enough for me. Now every time I hear the name Mabel I think of her. That name is dead to me forever!

Enjoy your food but keep it to yourself!

From the Soap Box

Day 74

My sister inspired me for the debut of this new column. A couple of days she listed a few pet peeves and it got me thinking. And I am feeling a little cranky today so this might be a perfect match!

I am cranky because I had to wake up early and go get some blood work done. It was all my choice and no, nothing is wrong. I am taking part of another study at Utah State University. This study will not be as intensive as the last one but should be interesting. We are taking a product called ASEA. ASEA is a liquid dietary supplement that is currently available on the market, and is sold through independent distributors. It is comprised of water and sodium chloride that has been electrolyzed. The company claims that drinking ASEA has health benefits that support the immune system, and they have anecdotal information that consuming ASEA might lead to a rise in blood levels of antioxidants (carotenoids are considered to be antioxidants). So, the purpose of this study is to determine if consuming ASEA actually has any effect on blood levels of carotenoids, lipids, and vitamin E. If accepted I have to take it for two weeks and get more blood work done.



This combined with the air quality in the valley has made me a little cranky. My town has the #1 Worst Air Quality in the nation! Check out the map and now you can see where I live! The air has made my throat sore and my stomach feeling a little queasy. Our air during the winter does get bad from time to time but this year has felt like the worst.



Anyway, that is not what I wanted to blog about today even though I am annoyed. One of my biggest pet peeves has to do with littering and smoking. I am not a smoker but that is not why this pet peeve ticks me off so much. If you want to smoke, more power to you. I have no problems with people who choose to smoke. What really annoys me are people who throw their cigarette butts out of their car and to the ground. I have a few problems with this.

First of all, are you that lazy that you cannot take care of your own trash? If you don't want it in your car, what makes you think that everyone else wants it on the ground? It is plain lazy. There is no excuse for this. Besides, littering of any kind is against the law.

Cigarette butts are NOT biodegradable. The filters can take many years to decompose. One of the biggest excuses I have heard is that a cigarette butt is so small that it cannot possibly pollute or harm the environment. That is probably true if it was ONE cigarette but we are taking millions of cigarette butts. Be part of the solution instead of being part of the problem.

And it is dangerous. A relative of mine was riding his motorcycle on his way to work and passed a car right when the driver of that car tossed out his cigarette. It landed in her lap and burned a small hole in his pants. He was lucky enough to grab it and put it out and then carried it to his work and properly disposed of it. Another time my dad and I were driving along the highway and we saw a small fire on the side of the road. It was small enough that we were able to stamp it out and pour what water we had on it to put it out. On the side of the road, in the gravel were a bunch of cigarette butts. Now I don't know if they were the cause for sure but just think about it. It could have easily caused the fire.

So if you are smoker, fine. Go ahead and smoke, I have no problem with that, just dispose of the butt when you are done okay?



Kindly pick up your butts!