From the Soap Box: Smacking Lips

Day 114

I am not feeling so hot today. I began to feel a bit ill Saturday night and yesterday I was feeling pretty horrible. I am much better today but I am a little cranky and weak.

So this would be a perfect time to do another column of my pet peeves.

For some reason this one really can set me off. Especially when I am in an already cranky mood. It may seem silly but it drives me nuts.


I absolutely hate it when people smack their lips and chew with their mouth open! Seriously people! I don't want to hear you eat and I certainly do not want to see what you are eating!

Now don't get me wrong. I love food and I love to eat. In fact I took one of those stupid Facebook tests and found out that my worst sin is Gluttony. So I love to eat. But at least while I am pigging out that I have some sort of respect. I don't smack my lips like a cow, I don't salivate like a dog for a bone. And I don't eat like a dog either. Every time I hear your lips smack together makes me want to smack you. Have some self respect and eat politely, like Spaghetti Cat.


I love to eat out with people. There is nothing like a great meal to bring people together and have a good time. But acting like a pig while eating zaps all the fun out of it. And it can do more damage than you think. I used to know a girl named Mabel and she would eat with her mouth open. It was like watching a cement truck or washing machine, she would swirl the food in her mouth before she would swallow it. I only saw her eating ONCE but that was enough for me. Now every time I hear the name Mabel I think of her. That name is dead to me forever!

Enjoy your food but keep it to yourself!