Matt at Work: The Pee Pledge

Day 340

I debated whether or not I should blog about my final day at WestHost. Every time I write it, I come off a bit bitter and I don't want everyone to think that I am angry for how my tenure at WestHost ended.

It ended as abruptly as it began. I didn't think that I landed the job since it took so long for them to get back to me and I didn't go in that morning with the mindset that was going to be my last day. But it is what it is.

I do admit that I was extremely unhappy at my job. My new boss Clint didn't know what to do with me. There were days were we never spoke. And I realized that I was alone in my job. I sat alone separated from my old friends in my old department. But I still did my job and I pride myself that I did it well. But I didn't think I was doing a good job since I was barely covering every thing. They did try to help by having the girls in the Accounts Department help me when I was busy but I hated that. They were already busy and I know deep inside they hated doing sales. So this made me more of an outcast. About two months before I quit I hit rock bottom. I decided to slack off as a call for help but that didn't work either.

I drew this on a Post-It Note and would add a nail each time something happened that made my job unhappy.

I still liked the job and I liked what I was doing but I was just overwhelmed. And I was being micromanaged to the Nth degree. I would miss ONE call (either because I was away from my desk or on the horn already) and I would be asked by both my boss Clint and Smalls. The reason the call was dropped was an easy one to figure out. I was either away from my desk (which I had to do a lot with sales testing and training and dedicated server orders) or I was on the phone and no one was around to help me. Or I was assisting Tech Support in taking their phone calls which left the Sales Department vulnerable. It was an ugly, endless cycle.

I hated it so much there that I finally cleaned out my desk and took all my crap home. I was ready for a change, I just didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

It was a morning like any other morning. The day before had been a bit busy and some calls were dropped. So I was interrogated by Smalls and then I had to explain it again to my boss Clint. All while trying to get a head start on the day. They would ask me why I didn't get those calls that dropped. I don't know and I don't remember why those calls dropped. It was the same explanation, I was either away from my desk or already on the phone. It could only be those two reasons! It was harassment.

A few minutes later, I get this fun IM (instant messaging) telling me that I need to make sure that someone is covering the phone ALL the time. So what do they expect me to do? Go and log the Accounts girls into the Sales phone whenever I have to leave my desk. I replied and said I would but it would be difficult since I have other responsibilities and I cannot wait for others to help. Clint replied and said he understood (yeah right) and then told me that I have to ask someone to cover the phones whenever I am away from my desk. I get it Clint. You don't need to spell it out for me. I have this conversation every stinking day. I was promised that they would hire a Sales assistant MONTHS ago but they have not done a thing to help me.

"So I need to get permission to pee and use the bathroom."

And that is what started the ball rolling. I guess in hindsight I shouldn't have said that but that was what I honestly felt and thought. I think that pissed Clint off because he knew essentially I was right. This is what bugged me about Clint. He was a company guy to company people but to his "friends" he could bag on WestHost all he wants. He did it all the time before I was put in his department. But when he became my boss he had to toe the company line. He was hypocritical.

I left to go home and take Logan to his first day in Kindergarten (I had previously arranged it) and when I got back to WestHost I had to meet with Clint again. Instead of handling the situation himself he went to Smalls like a kiss up. And they came to this answer. In order for me to keep my job, I had to write a paper detailing why I want to keep my job and what I would do in order to keep it.

Thus the "Pee Pledge" was born.

Then they told me to take the afternoon off and go home and think about what I would write to WestHost. It only took me an hour to come to the decision to leave WestHost. And I felt good about it. I went in early the next morning and wrote an e-mail to the staff informing them of my decision to leave. I could have really thrown WestHost under the bus but I wanted to leave with my dignity intact. I didn't want to ruffle any feathers, I just wanted out on my own terms. And they didn't see it coming. I am sure that while they saw me typing they thought I was signing the Pee Pledge.

I would have loved to send this pledge out!

I went in to Clint's office and told him I appreciate what he has done for me (bold face lie) and wished him the best but it would be best if WestHost and I parted ways. I felt a little bad for Clint. I liked him before he was my boss and I think he is a decent guy but he was also a Convergys manager. And therefore put himself over every thing else, even if it meant stepping on someone else. Another manager at WestHost, someone whom I thought was a friend, had the Convergys mentality and stabbed many other workers in the back. I know that he was the one whispering to Clint to get rid of me. He was just as hypocritical, he would bag on WestHost and when I would bag on them too he would run and tell.

I then grabbed my stuff to go up and visit with Brian to tell him that I was quitting. I stopped by my desk and sent the staff that e-mail (to everyone but Smalls) and I made the long walk up the stairs. I entered his office and gave him my binder and said I wanted to leave. Brian was shocked, I really don't think they thought I was going to quit. He had to quickly run and print some paperwork (and knowing how anal he is, he really should have had that done so I knew I caught them with their pants down) and conducted an exit interview. He said that he really tried to help and I just shook my head in disagreement. But I signed the papers and I was a free man. I did have one condition and that was to have two weeks to get my websites off of my free account and into a paid hosting account with WestHost. Brian agreed and said he would tell Chris and they would give me a week to move my stuff.

Yeah, that lasted a few days. It was a good thing that I started to download my stuff that night. They deleted my account three days after I quit.

Right after I walked out, I went and visited my friend Zack who was at his new job. As soon as I walked in, Zack and Chris (another WestHost casualty) stood up and gave me a standing ovation. Someone had already texted Zack that I quit. Good news travels fast.

I hope that didn't sound bitter. Quitting WestHost was the best thing for me. Now I work with my dad, now I have more time to spend with my family, I have lost about twenty pounds. I feel healthier, I feel happier.

Matt at Work: The Office out West

Day 332

This is my last Matt at Work column. During the course of the year I have covered every single job that I have ever been employed at and this is my last one (excluding my current job) covering five years at WestHost.

I had quit Kraft/Convergys to concentrate on schooling and I attended Salt Lake Community College for about a year or so when Kristy became pregnant with Logan. I stopped going to school to take care of him when Kristy went back to South Hills to finish off the school year. After that she decided that she didn't want to teach anymore and wanted to stay at home, which meant that I was to get a full-time job. I didn't want to work down in the Salt Lake City area so we moved back to Logan and found a nice house down on the "Island". Kristy unfortunately had to take a job with the school district while I searched for new employment.

I interviewed at a couple of places but didn't get any callbacks until WestHost. I interviewed with a guy that I went to high school with. He knew who I was but I had no clue who this guy was but I played along. I first interviewed with him and then I interviewed with a man who eventually became my boss in Bevan. When I got into his office, Bevan had his assistant in the office with him, the person that I was replacing. Bevan started to ask me questions when suddenly I hear her say, "Matt Platis? You have got to be kidding me!" It was an old college friend. Her name was Jennifer and we hung out quite a bit many years earlier. It was because of her that I got hired. She even told me after the interview that she would make sure that I got this job. After two weeks of waiting, WestHost finally called me and I got the job to work in the Sales and Marketing Department.

I worked with some fantastic people in the Sales and Marketing Department and I felt in the beginning that I was a real force in the company. I invented a lot of the current policies and I quickly became the go-to-guy when it came to anything about Sales. And I loved my job.

There were certainly a lot of quirks though. The CEO of WestHost was this young kid who formed the company in high school. He never had to hold down a job himself and that led to some interesting and unfortunate situations which I have blogged about here.

Remember the Bathroom Memo?

Remember how mad our CEO got after the company photo was retouched?

And there was that time where they passed out anonymous and confidential company surveys.

And who could forget all the Chris-isms?

But like I said, I liked who I worked with and I liked my job and felt needed. One of the fun things we did at WestHost was the Madden Tournaments. Another fun thing we did was go out to eat all the time. We were constantly getting breakfast burritos or going on McGriddle runs. We also went out every month as a department for lunch as well. And then there was all the fun using Instant Messaging. Which actually leads to another interesting moment while working at WestHost.

Our CEO Chris took the whole Sales and Marketing Department out to lunch one day. It was actually pretty fun, Chris didn't talk too much about business and we chatted about movies and things like that. He also said that he liked that all of the Sales and Marketing Department had a lot of fun together. We told him some stuff that Zack and I used to do and Chris mentioned that he remembers the time when we counted how many Mark cleared his throat. (Just for the record: Mark cleared his throat ALL the time. We must have counted at least once a minute!) Zack and I looked at each other and just laughed it off. After the lunch Zack and I talked about it. We did count how many times Mark coughed but we did that all through IM (instant messaging) so now we knew for sure that he was reading all the messages we sent to each other. I think we wrote our IM's backwards for the next couple of days.

It wasn't ALL bad at WestHost. I did win Employee of the Month twice.

But as things do, things change. WestHost hired people that were Convergys people. Some of them were good but most of the Convergys people, especially those that were in management at Convergys, tried to bring their craft to this small company. And soon WestHost went from employee-friendly to being all about numbers. One of the guys they hired, a guy that I nicknamed Colby (a form of cheese), was extremely hard to work with.

Callback. (inside joke)

He was hired to be the Client Services Manager and was in charge of quality. I was going to share some of my old blogs concerning this man but I found that I would have to do some major, major editing and censoring. I will just share one so you get the general idea of what I am dealing with.

Colby is very cheesy and anal in his job. You need someone who is anal in the position that he is in. He monitors customer service quality and is very good at it but he goes overboard all the time and the program comes off very silly. Now that he is a member of the department, he is in meetings with me now. Our Sales meeting used to be an oasis for me, where I can finally unlock the shackles that tie me to the phone and where I can express ideas for the department. It was nice, being away from the beckoning of the phone for an hour until he arrived. Now, we have to have the meeting by my desk so I can continue to do my duties and to cover Tech Support with the dreaded callback program. We also get to hear "testimonies" of customer service, where Colby gets to the point of tears telling us why we do what we do and why we should continue to do it. I already know this, I have worked in this profession for years. He crams this stuff down our throats all the time. He sends little e-mail reminders, he leaves little reminders on our desks, but it is worse to hear them in person. I roll my eyes and draw little sketches of cheese while he is talking. I smile politely when he speaks of his "baby". It makes me want to wretch.

Not only does he possess anal abilities but he also possesses a large snoopy nose. He wants to dip his beak into everything and must know everything that is going on around him. At first, this was aggravating but now it has turned into a fun little game for me as I play on his eagerness to get information. I supply little tidbits for him, making it look like I know more than he does. I am sure this really gets his goat. It must drive him insane when I know something he does not know. A fellow co-worker sits at the desk in front of me and Colby is always asking me what he is doing. One time, Zack had to leave a little early to lunch because he was taking his wife to work. As soon as he left, I get a little message (IM) popping up asking me where Zack has gone. Even though I know the full reason why he has left, I do not give out all the information. Whenever there is a closed-door meeting, he asks me what it is all about. Here is a true life example:

Colby: "Hey I noticed Bevan's (my boss) door closed. Is Zack with him?"
Me: "Yes."
Colby: "Do you know what they are talking about."
Me: "I think so."
Colby: "How long have they been in there? Wonder what's up."
Me: "I think they are talking about some new programs, but I cannot tell exactly. That is why Zack went in there in the first place."
Colby: "Hmmmm. New programs for customers?"
Me: "Nope. New ideas for how we should handle our clients."
Colby: "Really? You know what?"
Me: "I wasn't invited to the meeting so it is none of my business. I have a couple of ideas though."

Obviously, I have either absolutely no idea what this meeting is about or I clearly know what the meeting is about and I am purposely doing this to tease him and make him curious and nervous. Jump through hoops! 

Colby eventually quit and things seemed to improve but that didn't last long. Now don't get me wrong, Colby is a swell guy. I just couldn't deal with all the WestHost/Convergys Cheese he forced us to eat. Unfortunately he had to do it and I understand that. Soon my boss Bevan quit and things quickly spiraled down the toilet. Zack became my new boss and I enjoyed that quite a bit and we hired a new guy named Matt. We had a great time together but WestHost was not honest in its dealings with the new Matt and he quit. And the pressure on Zack was just too much. There was a lot of gossip and a lot of backstabbing and false promises. Not a healthy environment to be in.

Still, the actual job was not bad. I liked assisting clients and being part of the Sales Department. The volume was unfortunately rising since essentially I was the only one keeping the day-to-day activities of the Sales Department afloat. One of my favorite things to do at WestHost was to work on the Affiliate Program but that didn't end very well and I used to have to train new employees on Sales matters and issue Sales Tests throughout the company. I really enjoyed those things and I thought I did them extremely well. I even wrote the entire Sales Manual for the company.

Zack stepped down as my boss and then they split the Sales and Marketing Departments. And this was the start of the end of my time at WestHost. I was given a new boss named Clint. He was Colby's replacement. Now I liked Clint until he became my boss. We all know why WestHost went this direction. They wanted to hire a Sales Manager but they didn't want me. No one else interviewed so WestHost was forced to do something. They made Clint the Sales Manager (whom I had to train when he was named manager) and they gave me this bloated title to appease me. At least they gave me a nice raise. But my time with Clint was numbered. I was stripped of the Affiliate Program (the one thing I really loved) and now I was the only guy answering phones/e-mails/chats. I went from a department of three down to a department of me.

My feelings of discontent were only hardened after the Rigged Christmas Party. And it seems like for every step forward, WestHost would take a step back and to manage always to poop on our parade.

I finally quit WestHost quite unexpectedly but that is a blog rant for another day. This one is much too long already!

Matt at Work: Who's Complaining?

Day 309

Today has been a very good day. The weather was nice, I just finished an online live NFL Fantasy Draft, a nice cold Mountain Dew to go along with it, knowing that I am not getting that calling, and spending a night with my family making slushes and watching AFV. It just has been one of those days where I am plain happy to be where I am. I really have nothing that I should complain about.

When I worked at WestHost my boss Bevan made me sign up to get Dilbert sent to my e-mail everyday. A few days ago this one popped up.

That is EXACTLY like my old job at WestHost. A few months after I was hired the company wanted to see what employees thought about working at WestHost. Honestly, WestHost was not that bad of a place to work even though it definitely had its up and downs. So our Human Resources Manager Smalls (named after that kid in the Sandlot) came around and passed out an anonymous survey. We looked at the survey and my boss called me and Zack in. He showed us this tiny little number that was printed on the back of the survey. We then contacted other people in the company and found that they had different numbers. So they may not be able to tell who took the survey, they would at least know what department it was coming from. And when your company had about twenty employees it would be very easy to figure out who wrote what. And they wanted it hand written!

Smalls was like that annoying dog that was friend's with the bully dog. Always wanting to please the bigger dog no matter how stupid or asinine he looked.

My department, along with a few others, typed our surveys on separate pieces of paper. Smalls really tried his best to make it look innocent. But who would believe him when the evidence was so blatant. Even when we wrote things on separate papers they still tried to figure out who was who. They pegged my friend Zack with a different paper.

Of course this is from the same people who got mad at us when we were trying to do something nice for the company. Somehow our servers got screwed up and a lot of our client's websites were down and Technical Support was in chaos and were insanely busy taking all the calls. So a few of us downstairs thought it would be nice if we all forked in some cash to buy them all pizza and bring it in. We asked Smalls over IM if we could do that (hoping that maybe WestHost would also put up some of the money) and we got this reply:

Smalls: Who's complaining?

Safe to say that we didn't get them pizza.

Matt at Work: The Double McGriddle

Day 18

I can eat fast food every day, I just love that greasy stuff. When I worked at WestHost, our department used to go on McGriddle runs for our meetings. And there was a time where we would do it weekly. For those that have not had a McGriddle, let me tell you, they have to be one of the tastiest breakfast sandwiches EVER! It comes with a spicy sausage, melted cheese and egg on two pancake-like buns which it littered in maple syrup. So bad for your health but so good for your taste buds.



One time my friend Zack and I were discussing why we loved these things and it came down to the sausage. There was something about it that made the sandwich complete. He laughed about having a double sausage McGriddle.

That next week, it was Zack's turn to make the McGriddle run and he came back with a grin on his face. He plopped down my McGriddle and said, "I have done something." I opened my sandwich and found that he got us DOUBLE McGriddles. For an extra 30 cents (or something like that) he got them to give us double the meat. That first bite was wonderful but by the time we finished them up we were sick. It was too much of a good thing. It took us months before we got another McGriddle. And there is no way we would get a double one again.

The funny thing about going on these McGriddle runs was that we had to do it in secret. Our CEO and the puppy dog that followed him would hold going out for some food against us. We were not working hard if we had time to go grab some food. I remember when Zack and I went to grab some Mountain Dew for a large Sales meeting we had and I went to my car (I clocked out just so they couldn't really nail me) and drove around to the back of the building to pick up Zack. We ran to the gas station and on the way back I dropped off Zack with the Dews and parked the car. We did this so we could avoid the CEO's office window so he wouldn't see Zack coming with. You did what you had to do to survive!

I must have gained fifteen pounds while working at WestHost. Between all the treats (ohhh, Heidi's homemade Oreos) and Betos and McGriddle runs it shouldn't be a surprise that I have high cholesterol. The only thing that I did lose at WestHost was my hair.