Feb 3, 2010

Matt at Work: The Evil IM

Day 95

At my last job we have Instant Messenger in the office so we all could communicate quickly. I also had the task to speak to clients in our LiveChat system off of the corporate website and I also had the task to review all the chats that employees had with clients. The longer I worked there using these chat programs, the better chance you had in saying something pretty stupid. I collected these in Word because some of them were pretty memorable. My friend Zack and I used to pull them out every once in awhile and laugh. Here are my favorites. I have changed some of the names slightly.

I got these ones while reviewing chat transcripts. Colby, Alex and Reid are technicians that worked online to assist clients.

Colby: Hello! Thank you for contacting us. Please allow me one moment to review your question.
Colby: Hell Greg, I am looking into this right now.
Gregt: well damnit, ok.

bonnie: it says you're typing but I don't see a response
Alex: Yes.
info: Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

William: Understand. I just want to make sure I didn't get kicked off, as has happened here on LiveChat in the past.
Reid: Ok, I just wanted you assure you that I am her.
Reid: Ok, the reason I cannot, and you cannot, change to it, is, somehow, you got around giving it a name.

This next one was special. It was all mine.

Matt P: We have 24/7 technical support through the phone, e-mail and lovechat.
Jason: Wow. lovechat?

Embarrassing things were not only said to clients but also to co-workers. I was getting raked over the coals by our Billing Manager one time in IM. She kept going on and on about a mistake that was made. I forgot what she said, all I could remember is what I responded with.
April: Blah, Blah, Blah*
Matt: Go tit!

I was supposed to have said "Got it!" but I accidentally put a space where a space shouldn't be. I was so embarrassed and I thought for sure I was going to get ripped a new one. Surprisingly she laughed it off.

I have a bunch of other ones but I don't think anyone outside of that job would appreciate. And a lot of them are inside jokes. If I find a couple more, I'll post them.


  1. Those were funny. I'm glad you thought to save them.

  2. LOL "Go tit!" hehehehe

  3. Hilarious! I'm glad you saved these! You need to remember the good, funny moments in life, especially when it concerns work!