Dec 28, 2009

Matt at Work: What can Matt do for you?

Day 58

Seeing the snow on the ground and hearing cars sloosh through it on the roads reminds me of one of my favorite jobs. I was just out of high school and I was looking for a job. During the Christmas season I applied to assist one of the UPS drivers. I was hired and I was told to come to Smithfield and assist a UPS driver named Kelley. Those two weeks turned out to be one of the best jobs I had. And it was all because of Kelley.

The first day Kelley asked what I liked to drink and of course I replied Mountain Dew. So he made it a daily event. He got me a Mountain Dew and some Snickers (which he claimed gave you sexual powers). I would meet him around ten in the morning at the old video shop by the StageStop Theatre in downtown Smithfield. I would then spend the next 6 hours delivering packages.

According to my job description I was not allowed to do pickups but only drop offs. But Kelley would pay me under the table (and quite a lot of money too) to assist him with some of the pickups. One of the cheese factories was in our route so we had a lot of cheese to pick up.

Being a UPS driver around Christmas was awesome. Kelley delivered to some of these people almost daily and we got a lot of gifts. Kelley was extremely generous, he gave me almost all the gifts. I got a ton of fudge and candy along with some cash. He split all the cash gifts he got with me.

It only took a few days for me to get into the swing of things but I was certainly clumsy. We both knew that it would be a good day if I took a tumble. And it happened almost every day. And yes, I had to wear that brown uniform. To bad it was not summer, so I could wear those awesome shorts.

The hardest part of the job was going directly into people's homes. Kelley would give me a package and say to me "Just go to the back door and go down the stairs into the office on the left and leave the package there. You don't have to knock, just go right in." It was so strange to walk into people's homes like that. At one house he gave me this huge package and told me to go through this large gate into the back yard. So I did and I was suddenly assaulted by these three large Saint Bernard's! They jumped on me and knocked me down and I was freaking out. Kelley came to my rescue laughing his butt off.

Kelley was always looking out for me. At one house he gave me a package and said go to this house for a treat. I asked him what it was and he just smiled and told me to get my butt in gear. So I hopped out of the truck and went to the door. No one answered so I left the package in the door. I came back and Kelley was all smiles. "So?" he asked. I told him no one answered and he was so disappointed. "Did you yell UPS?" (Which is a rule by the way) I told him I did but no one was home. "It's too bad. The lady that answers that door always comes out in just her panties."

It was a great job and I was sad to see it end. My last day, Kelley bought me a huge Mountain Dew and a bag of Snickers. I see him every once in awhile. I wave and say "Hi Kelley" but I am sure he has no idea who I am.

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